Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Just the way it is...

I spent the early part of my adult life thinking it was all about me. What I like. Who can like me. Everything. I had good intentions always and was never out to hate or hurt. I had those that said I mattered to them, I made them a better person. Perfect right? Well not so fast. I judged. You don't dress nice enough. You don't know how to dance. You are being nerdy. Instead of taking the whole package I spent more time looking at others and how they didn't measure up. Bad I know. Now I know and everyday its a goal to never be that type of person again. In no way am I now on the receiving end of this, but I think I'm being taught a lesson. I love someone more than the whole world around me. It's not infatuation, been there done that. This is the core of my heart. What every human wants to experience in their life. However because you have this for them does not mean they have it for you. Its not that no love towards you exists. It's not their fault, its the chemistry....its missing for them to be on that level with you. This is me. I found mine, and no one will ever get to the spot in my heart where he is, because this love...its love that never dwindles, is forgotten, or moves on. This love is so incredible the human heart only has enough spot for one person, one time. Well my spot is filled, and I get the privilege of living out the rest of my life having that accomplished. Some go their whole lives, only to die with it still empty. That won't be me. To love and the ability to be loved, I still have plenty of room in my heart to make my journey through life and never be depleted and receive enough to keep my heart full. But that spot, that one spot that we all have, where only enough room exists for one person to be there. A spot that will never again, now that it is filled, be vacated...well I filled mine. And for that I made it. I accomplished the ability to feel the deepest and strongest emotion possible in the rainbow of emotions we as humans get to experience. It's just too bad it came down to that one thing I actually did pretty darn good in high school: chemistry. I love you.